broken she, has her arms twisted. pointing at me.

going

to

explode

again.

!!!!!!!!!

i already went for a drive today too.

i got up to 60 on wolftrail.

and was swerving.

accidentally T_T

i was trying to look at the lights while going on a curved road. didnt work so well.

anyways

everything is building up again.

i feel like a time bomb

each breath i take i can hear the ticking get faster.

i need.

me time.

reallllly badly.

and thats not going to happen anytime soon.

as excited as i am for the next couple days

i almost would rather

do nothing

watch tv

reread a good book

cuddle up in my green chair on my balcony

recline the chairs in the maxima and stare at the mediocre irvine stars

and think.

i desperately need to do the latter.

in the complete chaos that was my life the last few weeks

i have completely lost myself.

i dont know whats going on with everyone around me let alone myself.

things are changing and i cant keep up.

im tired of being confused all the time.

oh simplicity.

ive forgotten what you mean.

i keep thinking next semester is going to be better.

then i remember

unfortunatly unlike all my friends

im not a senior.

im going into second semester of junior year.

can someone just shoot me now?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(@#*$&)@&%$^*@$@)(#*$*)(#*()#$_

there are not enough expletives in the world for how i feel right now.

why life?

why?

why do you do this to me?

i give up.

surrender.

youwin.

my feet are terribly cold

sigh.